Just your local, friendly, supportive couples-therapist….
Part of navigating grad school for budding counselors is that challenging question of “who do I want to work with…?”
It’s a question we all pose as we are taking classes and working at our practicum sites. Who is my “ideal client”? Who do I really resonate with and feel I work with best, to make lasting change?
For me, as I was rounding the idea of couples therapy, I was nervous. It seemed as though whenever I would mention that I think I really want to work with couples the response I would get was usually a gasp or a comment like “you are so brave” or “are you sure?’ or the “oh I could never work with couples, that just seems so hard.” When these comments came up I would ask myself the same things and then add….”am I crazy to want to work with couples? What is wrong with me, it does seem really hard.”
Granted it is challenging work but as you can see, I AM a couples therapist. So, obviously, I went for it. I followed my gut and my passion for working with two people in one small counseling office instead of just one. Well, I do also work with individuals just not as frequently. Anyway, I knew this was my passion and I had to follow it no matter what it felt like for everyone else. It turns out there is quite the extensive group of couples therapists around and I’d say we aren’t that different than any other type of therapist 😉
I find joy in seeing both sides of a story and digging into the processes and patterns my couples experience within their communication.
On this journey I have found and implemented different ways of working with my clients.
-Logical problem solving
-A safe place to explore
I have finally found a theory and way to work with couples that really resonates with me. It’s called Emotion Focused Therapy founded by Sue Johnson. It is closely linked with Attachment Theory. It’s a way to work with couples focusing on their cycles of interaction instead of playing the blame game.
It has been quite the journey taking workshops, reading the books, listening to all the podcasts and collaborating with colleagues around such a validating and supportive theory.
It is so eye opening when we can explore the deeper and more vulnerable feelings hiding under that anger and frustration. When we can put a name to those softer feelings and give reason to our sometimes hurtful behaviors, we can make lasting change. From that lasting change we are left with more fulfilling and connected relationships.
I appreciate you showing up here. I anticipate our work together will be expressive, invigorating and productive.
Please reach out with any questions comments or to set-up our next appointment.
Take care, friends.
In strength and support,