Be Intentional About your Intimacy

Intimacy varies among couples and individuals and it can hold a different meaning for each of us. In general, intimacy is the close personal connection we share with one another. There are also different types of intimacy that hold special places with different people in our lives. We might have close emotional intimacy with a friend without any physical intimacy. Since we often share both emotional and physical intimacy with our romantic partner, this can add to the complexity of the relationship.  What if we feel rejected physically? Most likely, affecting us emotionally.  Thus interconnecting the two. 

Sometimes, we find it easier to be emotionally connected with someone if the physical aspect is not a part of the picture….but this could also backfire in that if we are emotionally connected it could lend itself to wanting to be physically connected as well. And what if this person is not our chosen partner? Now what?

Making your intimacy more intentional can make a big difference and mean a lot to your partner in the process. What does it mean to make your intimacy more intentional? 

We often think that relationships should be easy or “this person is the love of my life, we shouldn’t have struggles to communicate with each other or connect…” This can be wrong. As we go through life we meet new challenges and go through new experiences. These challenges and experiences can pose questions to our abilities and maybe even our own self-worth. If our partner was there and able to be supportive through these times we might be in a good spot and still able to connect. But what if our partner was going through challenges and dings to their self-worth too? Were we there for them in this time? Were we there for each other? Or were we struggling so hard we didn’t reach for our partner and now feel a little more distant than we were before….

This is common among relationships, especially if we were not taught or did not have strong relationship figures teaching us how to reach for others in times of vulnerability. Or if we do not have strong examples of how to tackle conflict in a healthy and fruitful way.

Since you are reading this here and now I take it you are ready to make some changes and are ready to Be Intentional with Your Intimacy!!

Here are your lucky-7 tips to do just that:

• Quality Time
  • What do you love to do? Share that with your partner
  • 15-minutes of focused time together is better than 2 hours divided
  • Pick a chore you can do together, connect and be productive at the same time
• Get Creative
  • Try a new restaurant or different type of food together
  • Take a class, any kid of class
  • Make a craft together, who knows, you might get carried away with the paint 😉
• Communicate
  • Start a conversation with how it feels for you, not how you perceive your partner to feel
  • Share a vulnerable feeling
  • Slow down, get curious about your partner’s perspective
• Show Gratitude
  • Announce something you are grateful for about your partner
  • What is something you are grateful about your life together
  • State something you are grateful for about a choice you made together (it could be as simple as we chose the right take-out restaurant for tonight)
• Show Appreciation
  • I appreciate that you…(fill in the blank)
  • I appreciate how you show me you think about me
  • I appreciate what you do to keep our life going…
• In the moment
  • Mindfulness, take time to look around and experience the moment you are in
  • Put your phone down and connect
  • Breathe in a moment and take a break together
• Get physical
  • Touch in small ways throughout the day
  • Reach out for your partner in ways they like
  • Make time to connect physical a priority

Building intimacy and connection does take time and effort but the lasting effect of true connection is its own reward. Being intentional in how you connect with, relate-to and show-up for your partner adds to overall feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction. By being intentional and putting in the work, you can create a deeper and more meaningful connection with your partner.

If you are wanting to learn more or would like guidance on how to make this more of a reality in your relationship, reach out to me today. I would love to help.